Everything in my life is broken right now... perfect timing for it to happen with my 21st coming up...
-my laptop... its a $1500 paperweight. It decided to crash to the extreme. I lost all my work, photos, website crap for the website i edit, music, jailbroken iphone/touch applications, photoshop, finalcut pro etc... well the stuff is still here just it can not be moved to an external drive etc because apparently 90% of the files are corrupted. 3+ years of stuff gone in seconds. All that works on it right now is firefox and im 100% sure that will go soon too.
-my friends... whoever they are these days. Very few people are stable in my life right now and around to listen (then again I'm not sure i really want anyone to listen anymore these days)
-a person I love is broken and old and probably going to pass away soon.
-my heart... for many reasons recently. seems like every time I trust it gets stomped on some more. every time i desire - the emotions are disregard.
-home... home feel like a sad broken place and I can't tell if I hate it more then usual because I'm sad or if its actually worse then usual... probably both
-amy project show feels like its falling apart instead of being built. Usually I dont mind knowing its part of the creative process and such.. but for whatever reason right now it has me really down because it feels broken... usually its a good place to be but right now I dont even want to be there really...
-me ... my body, my mind... everything about me feels broken
I guess the thing thats the most broken is my spirit. Today I don't even feel hope... I do not believe.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Mothers Day
Old but great:
My Mother Taught Me About...
1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until your father gets home."
2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING....
"You are going to get it when we get home!"
3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don't talk back to me!"
4. My Mother taught me LOGIC...
"If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE...
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."
7. My Mother taught me HUMOR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
8. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
9. My Mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You're just like your father."
10. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS...
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"
11. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE...
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."
And last but not least...
12. My Mother taught me about JUSTICE...
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you....Then you'll see what it's like!"
My Mother Taught Me About...
1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until your father gets home."
2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING....
"You are going to get it when we get home!"
3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don't talk back to me!"
4. My Mother taught me LOGIC...
"If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE...
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."
7. My Mother taught me HUMOR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
8. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
9. My Mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You're just like your father."
10. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS...
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"
11. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE...
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."
And last but not least...
12. My Mother taught me about JUSTICE...
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you....Then you'll see what it's like!"
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Things that have entered my tummy today
A day in stomach of SJ
1. A few handfuls of popcorn and some pepsi (yuck) at a midnight screening of "the yes men fix the world" @ HotDocs
2. 2 Slices of mushroom and cheese pizza (thin crust variety)
3. 4 small spoons of cookies and cream icecream
4. 1L of Apple Juice
5. Two Tylenol Flu to help with the withdrawal caused brain zaps
6. More juice
7.
All in all a very unhealthy day.
1. A few handfuls of popcorn and some pepsi (yuck) at a midnight screening of "the yes men fix the world" @ HotDocs
2. 2 Slices of mushroom and cheese pizza (thin crust variety)
3. 4 small spoons of cookies and cream icecream
4. 1L of Apple Juice
5. Two Tylenol Flu to help with the withdrawal caused brain zaps
6. More juice
7.
All in all a very unhealthy day.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
...

I'm so blue that its 3pm and I finally just got out of bed... It's the crippling kind of depressed where nothing can make it better, and for sure no one... It's taken me like 20 minutes just to write this little. Time to get ready to go work. That's all there is these days: Work, Sleep. Mostly sleep though. Makes the days pass faster. 1 Month and 2 days till my 21st.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
"with all the luck you've had why are your songs so sad"
Some days you realize you have been given everything good in life- may that be opportunities, friends, money, work, family etc... Yet no matter how hard you try you can't seem to be satisfied with it. It never fills a gap inside you. Sometime we realize we are insignificant, hollow and empty. Today I am admiting to those flaws.
Flaws:
Unthankful
Lacking emotion
Lacking passion
Negative
Hopeless
And a lousy person all around.
Flaws:
Unthankful
Lacking emotion
Lacking passion
Negative
Hopeless
And a lousy person all around.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Top things we were supposed to die of but have not killed us yet
1. Y2K
2. Avian flu
3. SARS
4. Killer bees
5. Giant comets that were going to hit the planet and blow us all up
6. Debatable : terrorism
To name a few. Newest one is this Swine Flu.
2. Avian flu
3. SARS
4. Killer bees
5. Giant comets that were going to hit the planet and blow us all up
6. Debatable : terrorism
To name a few. Newest one is this Swine Flu.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Reasons to live
Not my list but interesting:
"For most of us, dying would be infinitely easier than living-- for life is hard!
#10: Random chance
#9: Gödel's Incompleteness Theorem
Basically a brilliant scientist named Kurt Gödel once proved that nobody can ever know everything. No matter if God-like powers are brought to bear by future humanity or the most advanced aliens you can imagine, even they will never learn it all.
So why's this a reason to live?
Because it means anyone deciding anything-- including to die-- cannot and never will have all the facts available to them. Perhaps not even all those specific facts relevant to their choice of the time. Ditto on deciding to live as well-- but you get the point.
#8: Revenge
#7: Curiosity
#6: The ultimate relief and satisfaction available to our own ending
#5: Adventure
#4: Changing one itsy-bitsy piece of the world for the better
#3: Serendipity
#2: Transcendence
#1: Love "
For sure not my reasons to plow through day after day but worth a mention.
"For most of us, dying would be infinitely easier than living-- for life is hard!
#10: Random chance
#9: Gödel's Incompleteness Theorem
Basically a brilliant scientist named Kurt Gödel once proved that nobody can ever know everything. No matter if God-like powers are brought to bear by future humanity or the most advanced aliens you can imagine, even they will never learn it all.
So why's this a reason to live?
Because it means anyone deciding anything-- including to die-- cannot and never will have all the facts available to them. Perhaps not even all those specific facts relevant to their choice of the time. Ditto on deciding to live as well-- but you get the point.
#8: Revenge
#7: Curiosity
#6: The ultimate relief and satisfaction available to our own ending
#5: Adventure
#4: Changing one itsy-bitsy piece of the world for the better
#3: Serendipity
#2: Transcendence
#1: Love "
For sure not my reasons to plow through day after day but worth a mention.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Favorite Parts of Toronto
I love the city I live in and here are some of my favorite Parts of it.
1. The Annex - The area I call home.

Wiki Says:
The Annex is one of Toronto's oldest neighbourhoods and its first streetcar suburb, characterized by its distinctive tall narrow houses, and lively community along Bloor Street. Considered a food and shopping mecca, this district is well known by Torontonians as one of the friendliest neighborhoods in the city. Due to the proximity of the neighbourhood to the University of Toronto and, as a result, its large population of students and faculty, the commercial strip along Bloor Street has quite the feel of a college neighbourhood (albeit an affluent one).
2. The Beaches

Wiki Says:
The commercial district of Queen Street East lie at the heart of The Beaches community. It is characterized by a large number of independent speciality stores. The side streets are mostly lined with semis and large-scale Victorian, Edwardian and new-style houses. There are also low-rise apartment buildings and a few row-houses. There are several parks just a few steps south
3. Parkdale

Wiki Says:
It was founded as a village in 1879, joining Toronto in 1889. It was an upper income residential area for the first half of the 20th Century, with several notable mansions. The area changed dramatically with the building of the Gardiner Expressway, demolishing the southern section of the neighbourhood and the creation of a barrier between the neighbourhood and the lakeshore. This led to both an outflux of prosperous residents west, and a decline in the economy. Most of the residential buildings remain, but the composition of the residents is much different, including a higher proportion of lower incomes. Today, it is a working class neighbourhood, having problems associated with poverty, but is also an area of considerable artistic activity.
Also Home to the Gladstone and the Drake.
4. The Path

PATH facts:
According to Guinness World Records, PATH is the largest underground shopping complex with 27 km (16 miles) of shopping arcades. It has 371,600 sq. metres (4 million sq. ft) of retail space. In fact, the retail space connected to PATH rivals the West Edmonton Mall in size.
The approximate 1,200 shops and services, such as photocopy shops and shoe repairs, found in PATH, employ about 5,000 people. Once a year, businesses in PATH host the world's largest underground sidewalk sale.
More than 50 buildings/office towers are connected through PATH. Twenty parking garages, five subway stations, two major department stores, six major hotels, and a railway terminal are also accessible through PATH. It also provides links to some of Toronto's major tourist and entertainment attractions such as: the Hockey Hall of Fame, Roy Thomson Hall, Air Canada Centre, Rogers Centre, and the CN Tower. City Hall and Metro Hall are also connected through PATH.
5. Queen (Doesnt Matter which way you go it's the best!)

Wiki Says:
The western end of Queen (sometimes simply referred to as "Queen West") is now best known as a centre for Canadian broadcasting, music, performance, fashion, and the visual arts. Over the past twenty-five years, Queen West has become an international arts centre, and a major tourist attraction in Toronto.
Queen Street East is a major thoroughfare in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, running through neighbourhoods such as Corktown, Moss Park, Leslieville and The Beaches. It extends from Yonge Street in the west (where it becomes Queen Street West) to Fallingbrook Road (just east of Victoria Park Avenue) in the east. Queen Street was the cartographical baseline for the original east-west avenues of Toronto's grid pattern of major streets.
6. High Park



Wiki Says:
High Park is the largest park in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. It spans 161 hectares (398 acres, 1.61 km²). It is a mixed recreational and natural park, with sporting facilities, cultural facilities, educational facilities, gardens, playgrounds and a zoo. One third of the park remains in a natural state, with rare a oak savannah ecology.
7. Kensington Market
No photos will ever catch the true spirit of this area.


Wiki Says:
Kensington Market is a distinctive multicultural neighbourhood in downtown Toronto, Ontario. The Market is one of the city's oldest and most famous neighbourhoods, and in November 2006, it became a National Historic Site. Its approximate borders are College St. on the North, Spadina Ave. on the East, Dundas St. W. to the South, and Bellevue Ave. to the West. Most of the neighbourhood's eclectic shops, cafes, and other attractions are located along Augusta Ave. and neighbouring Nassau St. and Kensington Ave. The market is best travelled on foot or bicycle, as the narrow one-way streets and numerous dead-ends are difficult to navigate by car.
Bonus:
Favorite Intersection in Toronto - Queen and Spadina
1. The Annex - The area I call home.

Wiki Says:
The Annex is one of Toronto's oldest neighbourhoods and its first streetcar suburb, characterized by its distinctive tall narrow houses, and lively community along Bloor Street. Considered a food and shopping mecca, this district is well known by Torontonians as one of the friendliest neighborhoods in the city. Due to the proximity of the neighbourhood to the University of Toronto and, as a result, its large population of students and faculty, the commercial strip along Bloor Street has quite the feel of a college neighbourhood (albeit an affluent one).
2. The Beaches

Wiki Says:
The commercial district of Queen Street East lie at the heart of The Beaches community. It is characterized by a large number of independent speciality stores. The side streets are mostly lined with semis and large-scale Victorian, Edwardian and new-style houses. There are also low-rise apartment buildings and a few row-houses. There are several parks just a few steps south
3. Parkdale

Wiki Says:
It was founded as a village in 1879, joining Toronto in 1889. It was an upper income residential area for the first half of the 20th Century, with several notable mansions. The area changed dramatically with the building of the Gardiner Expressway, demolishing the southern section of the neighbourhood and the creation of a barrier between the neighbourhood and the lakeshore. This led to both an outflux of prosperous residents west, and a decline in the economy. Most of the residential buildings remain, but the composition of the residents is much different, including a higher proportion of lower incomes. Today, it is a working class neighbourhood, having problems associated with poverty, but is also an area of considerable artistic activity.
Also Home to the Gladstone and the Drake.
4. The Path

PATH facts:
According to Guinness World Records, PATH is the largest underground shopping complex with 27 km (16 miles) of shopping arcades. It has 371,600 sq. metres (4 million sq. ft) of retail space. In fact, the retail space connected to PATH rivals the West Edmonton Mall in size.
The approximate 1,200 shops and services, such as photocopy shops and shoe repairs, found in PATH, employ about 5,000 people. Once a year, businesses in PATH host the world's largest underground sidewalk sale.
More than 50 buildings/office towers are connected through PATH. Twenty parking garages, five subway stations, two major department stores, six major hotels, and a railway terminal are also accessible through PATH. It also provides links to some of Toronto's major tourist and entertainment attractions such as: the Hockey Hall of Fame, Roy Thomson Hall, Air Canada Centre, Rogers Centre, and the CN Tower. City Hall and Metro Hall are also connected through PATH.
5. Queen (Doesnt Matter which way you go it's the best!)

Wiki Says:
The western end of Queen (sometimes simply referred to as "Queen West") is now best known as a centre for Canadian broadcasting, music, performance, fashion, and the visual arts. Over the past twenty-five years, Queen West has become an international arts centre, and a major tourist attraction in Toronto.
Queen Street East is a major thoroughfare in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, running through neighbourhoods such as Corktown, Moss Park, Leslieville and The Beaches. It extends from Yonge Street in the west (where it becomes Queen Street West) to Fallingbrook Road (just east of Victoria Park Avenue) in the east. Queen Street was the cartographical baseline for the original east-west avenues of Toronto's grid pattern of major streets.
6. High Park



Wiki Says:
High Park is the largest park in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. It spans 161 hectares (398 acres, 1.61 km²). It is a mixed recreational and natural park, with sporting facilities, cultural facilities, educational facilities, gardens, playgrounds and a zoo. One third of the park remains in a natural state, with rare a oak savannah ecology.
7. Kensington Market
No photos will ever catch the true spirit of this area.


Wiki Says:
Kensington Market is a distinctive multicultural neighbourhood in downtown Toronto, Ontario. The Market is one of the city's oldest and most famous neighbourhoods, and in November 2006, it became a National Historic Site. Its approximate borders are College St. on the North, Spadina Ave. on the East, Dundas St. W. to the South, and Bellevue Ave. to the West. Most of the neighbourhood's eclectic shops, cafes, and other attractions are located along Augusta Ave. and neighbouring Nassau St. and Kensington Ave. The market is best travelled on foot or bicycle, as the narrow one-way streets and numerous dead-ends are difficult to navigate by car.
Bonus:
Favorite Intersection in Toronto - Queen and Spadina
Monday, April 27, 2009
I never did write a list of things I want to to accomplish
25 things (or less) That I want to try before I die
1. Skydiving
2. Gamble and Win
3. Have a great art collection
4. Remain without having ever broken a major bone
5. Move out (one day... one day...)
6. Create something I am very proud of
7. Travel to India, Thailand, Australia
8. Plant a Tree
9. Help build a house
10. Save a life
11. See a meteor shower
12. Go to New York
13. Write a book (at least attempt to)
14. Get Lost - harder to do then you think
15. Learn to dance
16. Ride a Motercycle
17. See a broadway show
18. Fall in love
19.
20.
21.
22.
23.
24.
25.
The rest will have to wait because I'm not much of an ambitious looking forward to the future person
1. Skydiving
2. Gamble and Win
3. Have a great art collection
4. Remain without having ever broken a major bone
5. Move out (one day... one day...)
6. Create something I am very proud of
7. Travel to India, Thailand, Australia
8. Plant a Tree
9. Help build a house
10. Save a life
11. See a meteor shower
12. Go to New York
13. Write a book (at least attempt to)
14. Get Lost - harder to do then you think
15. Learn to dance
16. Ride a Motercycle
17. See a broadway show
18. Fall in love
19.
20.
21.
22.
23.
24.
25.
The rest will have to wait because I'm not much of an ambitious looking forward to the future person
5 things I never leave my house without
1. My ipod touch
2. A lighter and smokes
3. Eyeliner
4. Id + Bank Card
5. Some loose change
I don't use a cellphone and it has made my life so much simpler.
2. A lighter and smokes
3. Eyeliner
4. Id + Bank Card
5. Some loose change
I don't use a cellphone and it has made my life so much simpler.
A burst of creativity
Top things I have recently made 100% by hand that I love:
5.
4.
3.
2.
1.
Please note all but number 1 have been given away to friends (or a friends dog in the case of the red dog toy)
And a by popular demand the favorite of others:
5.
4.
3.
2.
1.
Please note all but number 1 have been given away to friends (or a friends dog in the case of the red dog toy)
And a by popular demand the favorite of others:
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Finished MiniProjects
First I made my own stuffed bunny. See below post .
Today I made banana bread from scratch for the first time. It tastes really good.
Today I made banana bread from scratch for the first time. It tastes really good.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Top Guilty Pleasures
1. Lego! I love the stuff to death and have boxes and boxes of it! A few years ago I pulled all of it out and built every single set. It was about 150+ sets of lego.

2. 80's music - Ashamed to admit my secret addiction to it but I can't go through a day without my dose. It's an ironic one considering I was only alive for like 2 years in the 80's.

3. Musicals - 99% of the kick ass

4. Lame T.v. Shows - Greys Anatomy, Ugly Betty etc etc. I have time shifting so incase I miss them I can always watch them late at night. The ultimate guilty t.v. pleasure has to be my super sweet 16. Nothing better then watching spoiled rich kids throw tantrums. It's a double whammy too because its on MTV which basically stands for trash tv in my mind.

5. As a vegetarian I probably should not enjoy eating things that resemble meat but darn I really enjoy some of the veggie "meat" products. Tofuturkey anyone?

and last but not least my top guilty pleasure
Spending time with my friends or on my computer when I actually should be working on stuff. Oooops!

2. 80's music - Ashamed to admit my secret addiction to it but I can't go through a day without my dose. It's an ironic one considering I was only alive for like 2 years in the 80's.

3. Musicals - 99% of the kick ass

4. Lame T.v. Shows - Greys Anatomy, Ugly Betty etc etc. I have time shifting so incase I miss them I can always watch them late at night. The ultimate guilty t.v. pleasure has to be my super sweet 16. Nothing better then watching spoiled rich kids throw tantrums. It's a double whammy too because its on MTV which basically stands for trash tv in my mind.

5. As a vegetarian I probably should not enjoy eating things that resemble meat but darn I really enjoy some of the veggie "meat" products. Tofuturkey anyone?

and last but not least my top guilty pleasure
Spending time with my friends or on my computer when I actually should be working on stuff. Oooops!
Monday, December 15, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Gun Shaped Items
One of my personal favorite blog entries taken of my artsy blog.
1. A gun shaped blow dryer? Something seems really wrong about this especially since well... you point a blowdryer or should I say gundryer at your head.

3. This is another absurd item I found. Kids get suspended for pointing "gun" shaped chicken fingers (or was it a nugget) and going bang. Can you imagine the uproar with this ruler? Plus what does a gun have to do with measuring? ... Well aside from being a super cool design that has grown on me and I want now..

3. And of course the last item... Nothing matches up to this one:

This unfortunate toy gun has a whistle on the end of the barrel.
It's a toy where the basketball spins and opens up when you pull the trigger. As it spins it plays music. Oh yeah, it's got a whistle that you play by sticking the barrel of this gun-shaped toy in your mouth!


3. This is another absurd item I found. Kids get suspended for pointing "gun" shaped chicken fingers (or was it a nugget) and going bang. Can you imagine the uproar with this ruler? Plus what does a gun have to do with measuring? ... Well aside from being a super cool design that has grown on me and I want now..

3. And of course the last item... Nothing matches up to this one:

This unfortunate toy gun has a whistle on the end of the barrel.
It's a toy where the basketball spins and opens up when you pull the trigger. As it spins it plays music. Oh yeah, it's got a whistle that you play by sticking the barrel of this gun-shaped toy in your mouth!

Few more randoms for fun:
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Let there be fur?
This marks the a very joyous occasion. The moment Holiday partying starts my dog seems to go into full shed. This usually means she looses the weight equivalent of a cat in fur. It seems to be her special touch to the season especially when it's popular to be wearing black.
I imagine she is thinking"Hey look now you look GREAT, i have added my special touch and everyone will know you have a dog at home. Now they will know that leftovers must be taken home to feed the starving animal".
"Starving dog! Leftovers Please?"
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Oh December...
Don't get me wrong I love the holidays but sometimes ... Xmas can be a huge pain in the ass.
Some top christmas peeves:

1. Fruit Cake - The fucking gift that never stops giving. It never rots and its a disgusting brick of the worlds most unappetizing cake with little jelly things that usually look like an elf that ate too much christmas spirit upchucked on it
2. Inflatable Snowmen - Those creepy things... Not only do they scare my dog at night they are ugly and tacky... MAKE A REAL SNOWMAN. No one wants to walk by your house and see a huge creepy thing larger then your house on your front lawn.

3. Overdecorated Houses - Guess what- You can over decorate your house people! 1 billion christmas lights is not beautiful, it's painful to look at. The worse is those freaks that think its cool to set their lights up to music and then people drive by, tune into a special radio station and watch and listen to the show. Take your gingerbread houses somewhere else where I don't have to see them.
Theres a whole site devoted to people with their terrible light hanging taste:
http://www.uglychristmaslights.com/

4. Christmas Music - It's great if it was to start a week before or heck even two but it seems like its a year long phenomenon now. Once Halloween is done its time to bust out the music. This includes of course the terrible pop artist remakes of classics, techno christmas music and a whole spectrum of music that is enough to make your ears bleed.

5. Ugly Christmas Trees - They are everywhere! I don't want to see a cheep fake tree thats taped together, the branches are all bald and there are like 3 or 4 little decorations on the tree and like red bows. It's not that hard to come up with a creative pretty tree on a low budget even.
More to come...
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Up Down All Around
Sometimes things are perfect, but - unfortunately you're mood does not follow what is going on in your life.
Good things:
- Opened a fantastic show with a group of visually impaired actors and it was amazing
- I have lots of energy to work
- I can sleep long because I start actually working late
- working a lot = money to spend
- lots of time to laze about or be social
Yet... I feel like crap...
List of Good cartoons worth watching once in a while:
- Simpsons
- Futurama
- South Park
- Bugs Bunny and Tweety Show
- Family guy
Best to watch when your tired and you are multitasking.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Thought of the Day

If cat's sleep for 20 hours a day - are up for only 4 hours. Do they differentiate being awake or asleep? Do their dreams seem like their actual lives?
I found an article as a follow up to see if cats actually do dream and - of course they do.
"During sleep, our brain releases inhibiting substances to prevent us from acting out our dreams fully, although we may toss, turn and even talk in our sleep. The feline brain works similarly. In laboratory experiments where unfortunate feline subjects have had their brains tampered with so that those substances aren't released, the cats act out their dreams in full. Even laboratory-bred cats which have never hunted, or even seen prey, have been observed to 'catch birds', 'chase mice' and 'bat prey' in the course of their dreams."
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