Postsecrets

I decided to pick some of the postsecrets i relate to the most

Working Life - My hand is my notebook

I'm working like 10hrs + a day so I don't really have the brain power to put up a really good list.

Ive been thinking about doing this for a while though. I'm going to write out a list of all the crazy notes that get written on my hand through out the next few weeks

Notes on my hand

Saturday June 20th - Written in red pen :

20

Home Hardware

Exits - Battery Powered

Branches

Scoop Lamps

Running carpet

Party Hats

Saturday July 4th - Black pen

Salad

16th Riv 6pm

Sunday July 5th - Blue Pen

"Someone must be looking out for you dear"

4:30 boat Tuesday

Fringe show

Laundry 4 show

Says what my life is all about right now.

Mondays

Mondays suck - even if they are my current off day.

To lighten my monday up I have been looking at my favorite inappropriate comic.

I have picked my favorite ones (in no specific order):

Thinking...

Things I am thinking about today:

- Nature and how beautiful it is outside today

- Charities, organizations I believe in:

www.love147.org

www.twloha.com

www.skate4cancer.com

Everyday people making an impact on the world. Some of them starting out young and with an idea.

It has nothing to do with having money, sometimes its raising awareness and if money is needed then making sure the people that have money know how they can help.

We all should take part in making the world a better place.

-Thinking about the AMY Project.

We did the very last performance of the show at Luminato. It was a very hard year, many fights, many mean things said yet all of these amazing young women decided to go out for dinner after the last show (even though there was a fight right before it that almost cancelled the last show "I feel like if I go on stage I'm going to kick someone's teeth out"). Anyway, they went out for dinner, made up and plan to go out again -The show by the way brought people to tears. These ladies love each other, post beautiful notes about each other on facebook and this experience has brought them together which is funny because they make a very unlikely group of friends. The upcoming year will be year 5 - amazing! Five years of young women and professional theatre artists coming together, mentoring each other, learning, growing and putting a darn good piece of theatre together collaboratively.

- Still blue, still sick, still sore from the tetanus shot, still not enjoying life but hopeful; why?

There are good people out there doing really good things and even if there is a lot of horrible stuff going on in the world, we can not give up because we are not alone when we fight.

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.” - Albert Einstein

Birthday Blues

In honor of my blues I'm going to write this in shades of blue.

Birthdays are never easy. I remind myself of this every year and acknowledge that it is a time to reflect. This year it is hitting me harder then usual probably because I feel like I have not achieved much and by my age I should be diving into life head first.

I'm going to make a list of what I have learned this year, what I have done and try to create a summery for myself.

• I travelled - Poland, Germany, Switzerland, France (on my own).
  
• I taught myself how to sew - I'm actually good at this.
  
• Caught up on a lot of reading - including buying hundreds of dollars of new amazing books
  
• Started a collection of beautiful vinyl toys
  
• Worked with a bunch of visually impaired actors
• Met a ton of amazing inspiring people
• Got many jobs that I did not expect to get
• Gained friends or re enforced existing friendships
• Assisted someone with Lighting design for the first time
• Got my name on a couple show posters
• Bought my very first expensive piece of art
• Saved a life (I don't believe it but a friend has told me I have done it)
• Grown a little bit in hight
• Started relationships (and ended them)
• Tried to get help - and gotten it even if not successfully
• Experienced new parts of Toronto
• Gotten another tattoo

And most importantly... I Survived a whole year. That on it's own is good enough to go out and celebrate.

Afternoon laugh.

Post show blues?

Can't decide if this is post show blues or if its the cold I'm getting or if its my birthday coming up or if its the very unsatisfying job I have coming up... Eitherway I'm not feeling the best. To counter the crappy feelings I made breakfast for dinner.

Consisting of:
1. Egg
2. Whole Wheat English Muffins
3. Vegetarian Bacon
4. Home cut fries
5. Tomato

'

It made me feel better for a bit... Until I got nauseous. Yay life.

Everything breaks...

Everything in my life is broken right now... perfect timing for it to happen with my 21st coming up...

-my laptop... its a $1500 paperweight. It decided to crash to the extreme. I lost all my work, photos, website crap for the website i edit, music, jailbroken iphone/touch applications, photoshop, finalcut pro etc... well the stuff is still here just it can not be moved to an external drive etc because apparently 90% of the files are corrupted. 3+ years of stuff gone in seconds. All that works on it right now is firefox and im 100% sure that will go soon too.

-my friends... whoever they are these days. Very few people are stable in my life right now and around to listen (then again I'm not sure i really want anyone to listen anymore these days)

-a person I love is broken and old and probably going to pass away soon.

-my heart... for many reasons recently. seems like every time I trust it gets stomped on some more. every time i desire - the emotions are disregard.

-home... home feel like a sad broken place and I can't tell if I hate it more then usual because I'm sad or if its actually worse then usual... probably both

-amy project show feels like its falling apart instead of being built. Usually I dont mind knowing its part of the creative process and such.. but for whatever reason right now it has me really down because it feels broken... usually its a good place to be but right now I dont even want to be there really...

-me ... my body, my mind... everything about me feels broken

I guess the thing thats the most broken is my spirit. Today I don't even feel hope... I do not believe.

Mothers Day

Old but great:

My Mother Taught Me About...

1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...

"Just wait until your father gets home."


2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING....

"You are going to get it when we get home!"

3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE...

"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don't talk back to me!"

4. My Mother taught me LOGIC...

"If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE...

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD...

"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

7. My Mother taught me HUMOR...

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

8. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

9. My Mother taught me about GENETICS...

"You're just like your father."

10. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS...

"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

11. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE...

"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

And last but not least...

12. My Mother taught me about JUSTICE...

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you....Then you'll see what it's like!"

Things that have entered my tummy today

A day in stomach of SJ

1. A few handfuls of popcorn and some pepsi (yuck) at a midnight screening of "the yes men fix the world" @ HotDocs
2. 2 Slices of mushroom and cheese pizza (thin crust variety)
3. 4 small spoons of cookies and cream icecream
4. 1L of Apple Juice
5. Two Tylenol Flu to help with the withdrawal caused brain zaps
6. More juice
7.


All in all a very unhealthy day.

...

I'm so blue that its 3pm and I finally just got out of bed... It's the crippling kind of depressed where nothing can make it better, and for sure no one... It's taken me like 20 minutes just to write this little. Time to get ready to go work. That's all there is these days: Work, Sleep. Mostly sleep though. Makes the days pass faster. 1 Month and 2 days till my 21st.

"with all the luck you've had why are your songs so sad"

Some days you realize you have been given everything good in life- may that be opportunities, friends, money, work, family etc... Yet no matter how hard you try you can't seem to be satisfied with it. It never fills a gap inside you. Sometime we realize we are insignificant, hollow and empty. Today I am admiting to those flaws.

Flaws:

Unthankful
Lacking emotion
Lacking passion
Negative
Hopeless
And a lousy person all around.

Top things we were supposed to die of but have not killed us yet

1. Y2K
2. Avian flu
3. SARS
4. Killer bees
5. Giant comets that were going to hit the planet and blow us all up
6. Debatable : terrorism

To name a few. Newest one is this Swine Flu.

Reasons to live

Not my list but interesting:

"For most of us, dying would be infinitely easier than living-- for life is hard!

#10: Random chance

#9: Gödel's Incompleteness Theorem
Basically a brilliant scientist named Kurt Gödel once proved that nobody can ever know everything. No matter if God-like powers are brought to bear by future humanity or the most advanced aliens you can imagine, even they will never learn it all.
So why's this a reason to live?
Because it means anyone deciding anything-- including to die-- cannot and never will have all the facts available to them. Perhaps not even all those specific facts relevant to their choice of the time. Ditto on deciding to live as well-- but you get the point.

#8: Revenge
#7: Curiosity
#6: The ultimate relief and satisfaction available to our own ending
#5: Adventure
#4: Changing one itsy-bitsy piece of the world for the better
#3: Serendipity
#2: Transcendence
#1: Love "

For sure not my reasons to plow through day after day but worth a mention.

Favorite Parts of Toronto

I love the city I live in and here are some of my favorite Parts of it.

1. The Annex - The area I call home.



Wiki Says:
The Annex is one of Toronto's oldest neighbourhoods and its first streetcar suburb, characterized by its distinctive tall narrow houses, and lively community along Bloor Street. Considered a food and shopping mecca, this district is well known by Torontonians as one of the friendliest neighborhoods in the city. Due to the proximity of the neighbourhood to the University of Toronto and, as a result, its large population of students and faculty, the commercial strip along Bloor Street has quite the feel of a college neighbourhood (albeit an affluent one).



2. The Beaches


Wiki Says:
The commercial district of Queen Street East lie at the heart of The Beaches community. It is characterized by a large number of independent speciality stores. The side streets are mostly lined with semis and large-scale Victorian, Edwardian and new-style houses. There are also low-rise apartment buildings and a few row-houses. There are several parks just a few steps south

3. Parkdale



Wiki Says:
It was founded as a village in 1879, joining Toronto in 1889. It was an upper income residential area for the first half of the 20th Century, with several notable mansions. The area changed dramatically with the building of the Gardiner Expressway, demolishing the southern section of the neighbourhood and the creation of a barrier between the neighbourhood and the lakeshore. This led to both an outflux of prosperous residents west, and a decline in the economy. Most of the residential buildings remain, but the composition of the residents is much different, including a higher proportion of lower incomes. Today, it is a working class neighbourhood, having problems associated with poverty, but is also an area of considerable artistic activity.

Also Home to the Gladstone and the Drake.

4. The Path

PATH facts:

According to Guinness World Records, PATH is the largest underground shopping complex with 27 km (16 miles) of shopping arcades. It has 371,600 sq. metres (4 million sq. ft) of retail space. In fact, the retail space connected to PATH rivals the West Edmonton Mall in size.

The approximate 1,200 shops and services, such as photocopy shops and shoe repairs, found in PATH, employ about 5,000 people. Once a year, businesses in PATH host the world's largest underground sidewalk sale.

More than 50 buildings/office towers are connected through PATH. Twenty parking garages, five subway stations, two major department stores, six major hotels, and a railway terminal are also accessible through PATH. It also provides links to some of Toronto's major tourist and entertainment attractions such as: the Hockey Hall of Fame, Roy Thomson Hall, Air Canada Centre, Rogers Centre, and the CN Tower. City Hall and Metro Hall are also connected through PATH.

5. Queen (Doesnt Matter which way you go it's the best!)


Wiki Says:

The western end of Queen (sometimes simply referred to as "Queen West") is now best known as a centre for Canadian broadcasting, music, performance, fashion, and the visual arts. Over the past twenty-five years, Queen West has become an international arts centre, and a major tourist attraction in Toronto.

Queen Street East is a major thoroughfare in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, running through neighbourhoods such as Corktown, Moss Park, Leslieville and The Beaches. It extends from Yonge Street in the west (where it becomes Queen Street West) to Fallingbrook Road (just east of Victoria Park Avenue) in the east. Queen Street was the cartographical baseline for the original east-west avenues of Toronto's grid pattern of major streets.

6. High Park







Wiki Says:
High Park is the largest park in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. It spans 161 hectares (398 acres, 1.61 km²). It is a mixed recreational and natural park, with sporting facilities, cultural facilities, educational facilities, gardens, playgrounds and a zoo. One third of the park remains in a natural state, with rare a oak savannah ecology.

7. Kensington Market
No photos will ever catch the true spirit of this area.





Wiki Says:

Kensington Market is a distinctive multicultural neighbourhood in downtown Toronto, Ontario. The Market is one of the city's oldest and most famous neighbourhoods, and in November 2006, it became a National Historic Site. Its approximate borders are College St. on the North, Spadina Ave. on the East, Dundas St. W. to the South, and Bellevue Ave. to the West. Most of the neighbourhood's eclectic shops, cafes, and other attractions are located along Augusta Ave. and neighbouring Nassau St. and Kensington Ave. The market is best travelled on foot or bicycle, as the narrow one-way streets and numerous dead-ends are difficult to navigate by car.


Bonus:

Favorite Intersection in Toronto - Queen and Spadina

I never did write a list of things I want to to accomplish

25 things (or less) That I want to try before I die


1. Skydiving
2. Gamble and Win
3. Have a great art collection
4. Remain without having ever broken a major bone
5. Move out (one day... one day...)
6. Create something I am very proud of
7. Travel to India, Thailand, Australia
8. Plant a Tree
9. Help build a house
10. Save a life
11. See a meteor shower
12. Go to New York
13. Write a book (at least attempt to)
14. Get Lost - harder to do then you think
15. Learn to dance
16. Ride a Motercycle
17. See a broadway show
18. Fall in love
19.
20.
21.
22.
23.
24.
25.

The rest will have to wait because I'm not much of an ambitious looking forward to the future person

5 things I never leave my house without

1. My ipod touch
2. A lighter and smokes
3. Eyeliner
4. Id + Bank Card
5. Some loose change

I don't use a cellphone and it has made my life so much simpler.

A burst of creativity

Top things I have recently made 100% by hand that I love:

5.

4.


3.

2.

1.

Please note all but number 1 have been given away to friends (or a friends dog in the case of the red dog toy)


And a by popular demand the favorite of others: