Everything in my life is broken right now... perfect timing for it to happen with my 21st coming up...
-my laptop... its a $1500 paperweight. It decided to crash to the extreme. I lost all my work, photos, website crap for the website i edit, music, jailbroken iphone/touch applications, photoshop, finalcut pro etc... well the stuff is still here just it can not be moved to an external drive etc because apparently 90% of the files are corrupted. 3+ years of stuff gone in seconds. All that works on it right now is firefox and im 100% sure that will go soon too.
-my friends... whoever they are these days. Very few people are stable in my life right now and around to listen (then again I'm not sure i really want anyone to listen anymore these days)
-a person I love is broken and old and probably going to pass away soon.
-my heart... for many reasons recently. seems like every time I trust it gets stomped on some more. every time i desire - the emotions are disregard.
-home... home feel like a sad broken place and I can't tell if I hate it more then usual because I'm sad or if its actually worse then usual... probably both
-amy project show feels like its falling apart instead of being built. Usually I dont mind knowing its part of the creative process and such.. but for whatever reason right now it has me really down because it feels broken... usually its a good place to be but right now I dont even want to be there really...
-me ... my body, my mind... everything about me feels broken
I guess the thing thats the most broken is my spirit. Today I don't even feel hope... I do not believe.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Mothers Day
Old but great:
My Mother Taught Me About...
1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until your father gets home."
2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING....
"You are going to get it when we get home!"
3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don't talk back to me!"
4. My Mother taught me LOGIC...
"If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE...
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."
7. My Mother taught me HUMOR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
8. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
9. My Mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You're just like your father."
10. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS...
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"
11. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE...
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."
And last but not least...
12. My Mother taught me about JUSTICE...
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you....Then you'll see what it's like!"
My Mother Taught Me About...
1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until your father gets home."
2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING....
"You are going to get it when we get home!"
3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don't talk back to me!"
4. My Mother taught me LOGIC...
"If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE...
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."
7. My Mother taught me HUMOR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
8. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
9. My Mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You're just like your father."
10. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS...
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"
11. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE...
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."
And last but not least...
12. My Mother taught me about JUSTICE...
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you....Then you'll see what it's like!"
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Things that have entered my tummy today
A day in stomach of SJ
1. A few handfuls of popcorn and some pepsi (yuck) at a midnight screening of "the yes men fix the world" @ HotDocs
2. 2 Slices of mushroom and cheese pizza (thin crust variety)
3. 4 small spoons of cookies and cream icecream
4. 1L of Apple Juice
5. Two Tylenol Flu to help with the withdrawal caused brain zaps
6. More juice
7.
All in all a very unhealthy day.
1. A few handfuls of popcorn and some pepsi (yuck) at a midnight screening of "the yes men fix the world" @ HotDocs
2. 2 Slices of mushroom and cheese pizza (thin crust variety)
3. 4 small spoons of cookies and cream icecream
4. 1L of Apple Juice
5. Two Tylenol Flu to help with the withdrawal caused brain zaps
6. More juice
7.
All in all a very unhealthy day.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
...
I'm so blue that its 3pm and I finally just got out of bed... It's the crippling kind of depressed where nothing can make it better, and for sure no one... It's taken me like 20 minutes just to write this little. Time to get ready to go work. That's all there is these days: Work, Sleep. Mostly sleep though. Makes the days pass faster. 1 Month and 2 days till my 21st.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
"with all the luck you've had why are your songs so sad"
Some days you realize you have been given everything good in life- may that be opportunities, friends, money, work, family etc... Yet no matter how hard you try you can't seem to be satisfied with it. It never fills a gap inside you. Sometime we realize we are insignificant, hollow and empty. Today I am admiting to those flaws.
Flaws:
Unthankful
Lacking emotion
Lacking passion
Negative
Hopeless
And a lousy person all around.
Flaws:
Unthankful
Lacking emotion
Lacking passion
Negative
Hopeless
And a lousy person all around.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Top things we were supposed to die of but have not killed us yet
1. Y2K
2. Avian flu
3. SARS
4. Killer bees
5. Giant comets that were going to hit the planet and blow us all up
6. Debatable : terrorism
To name a few. Newest one is this Swine Flu.
2. Avian flu
3. SARS
4. Killer bees
5. Giant comets that were going to hit the planet and blow us all up
6. Debatable : terrorism
To name a few. Newest one is this Swine Flu.
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